One Saturday morning while staying with my sister-in-law in Houston, Hubby and I played peek-a-boo with our nephew on the couch. We would say…where’d Kendall go? Then….There he is! and reveal him under his blankie. We, of course, tired of the game much more quickly than he did. Being the smart three year old that he was, he covered himself with his blankie and shouted out…Where me go? That sent us into another round of peek-a-boo with a whole new twist. The little quote has become a house hold question for hubby and I…never failing to send us into a quite, shared giggle.
This morning, sitting infront of the computer screen, with my big faux fur blankie next to me and the overwhelming sense of settling down, after a long two weeks of running out early in the morning and only coming home after the moon is high in the dark night’s sky, I feel like Kendall. I playfully peek out from behind the keyboard to say… Where Me Go? Hoping to hear the familiar voices of not-so-long-lost buddies in reply and waiting in anticipation of those new voices I have yet to greet.
Hey Buddies. Today is glorious in South Texas. I don’t know what the temp in terms of numbers is, but I can tell you what it is in terms of sensation….which is what matters anyway in a place as humid as Corpus Christi. The house still has boards on the windows from hurricane season which adds to the feeling of burrowing away in a cool, moist cave with my bearskin fur (yeah the symbolic one…not a real one). 
The smell of cabbage and turkey bacon fills the air. It is waiting in the oven for my roommate to return from shopping. We are gunna settle into my little cottage and bake today (the smell of freshly ground cinnimon wafts in from down the hall…..ahhhh). Tonight we will build a fire in my husbands great grandmothers cast iron cauldron. She used it to make soap in…back in the day. But we build fires in it and watch the embers glow like stars in its belly. Friends joke that it is a witch’s cauldron. I don’t mind, it does feel magical.
The season’s favorite sweater hangs on me just big enough to feel comfy but not so big as to lose its coziness. My legs are hugged in yoga pants fit for moving from a big nesty bed to the cafe where I will inevitably find myself with a latte later in the day. No makeup, just the blush of relaxation and cool air.
Then the big question for a South Texas Winter…you know how cold it is according to what kind of shoes cover your feet. Well? Sandles. That is the beauty of Texas. Sure my toes are nippy but not uncomfortable. I slide in and out of my platform-esque slip on’s to walk the fresh dirt revealed after 49 years of hiding beneath the surface of a sidewalk that leads to the front door (the city is giving us a new road, replacing some of the driveway, all the sidewalks and drainage systems). That dirt…cold and old, but freshly revealed. It’s lovely. And my toes happy.
I have about ten days ahead of me with only minimal obligations to others. What will I do with all that time? This is the time I think of as Illuminata Days. It is the time when the days grow shorter and darker in anticipation for that time when a new light comes into the world. And whether that light comes in the way of stories of the Christ child, in the honoring of that time when the oil kept burning after the desecration of the temple, or simply in the recognition of natures turn from darkness to light…. (check out this list of winter festivals http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_winter_festivals for a more complete idea of all the many, beautiful ways the people of our earth celebrate at this time of year) ….my Illuminata Days help to focus me on what is important to me during this hustle-bustle season.
I get quiet. Sit with a number of magazines. Buy a Saint candle….strip it of all its imagery…and begin adding images, phrases, bits and bobbles that remind me of what is important to me. That candle gets lit occasionally during the season, but takes a place of honor everyday until January 21st (my mother’s birthday and the anniversary of the evening when my Hubby proposed). It keeps me on track. Helps to settle me when things get crazy or I feel the pull of commercialism and obligation take over. It’s my pre-Thanksgiving “ritual”. Join in if you’d like. ANd pass on a pic of your candle if you do one. You may find a way that works even better for you.
Also, I know that not everyone on-line does Thanksgiving with us Americans… but if you feel the rush of Winter holidays, you could do it anytime you might have a free day. I think getting centered helps me focus on people instead of food….or food that feeds me instead of food that just stuffs my face.
It keeps me present so that when I hear myself whisper “Were me go?”… I can answer back with confidence… There you are!
Rae
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